yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Why did? Yes

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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