Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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UP

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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