What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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Take part of what?

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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<=3 penis

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops