I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops