Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

falling didnt make the difference

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +17

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops