One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Tell you something funny.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops