What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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Xzibit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops