No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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