Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Xzibit

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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