How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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hi

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Mitt Romney

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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