Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Health food.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Cheese stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops