Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...