What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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