Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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