What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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