What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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An Asian man fails a math test

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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