Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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knock knock There's no door

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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