how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops