why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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