A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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* anti-punchline

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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