What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who wants $300? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops