While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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the WNBA

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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Women.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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A black person walks out of KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops