"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Dont read this joke

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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