the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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69

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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