2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down -30

roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -30

roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

thumb_up thumb_down -30

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops