When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops