Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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