Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Hi

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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