Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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No, Trinidad.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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