roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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... i forgot the joke :p

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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