columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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