What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Black Friday

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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poo

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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