Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Spinabifita

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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