A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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poop

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

Black people being friendly.

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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