three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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the WNBA

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Women.

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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