Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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