What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you want icecream, Björn?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i just wrote this so hard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969 i like potatos 696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops