Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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full house

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops