Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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children burning

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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