a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Your all fags

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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This is not an anti joke.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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