What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

knock knock

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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