What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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