"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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children burning

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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