A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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whats worse than gill? nothing

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Refrigerator

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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