Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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