What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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5

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops