An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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run farther?

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops