Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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