Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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