What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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Lil Wayne

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Women's rights

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops