Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Tell you something funny.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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